Everyone can relate to fighting with family. This pandemic has most likely heightened the possibility of conflict as families are spending an unprecedented amount of time together. Whether it’s disagreeing with a sibling, parent, or grandparent, there are steps you can take to reduce the tension on your end.
While you don’t have power over the actions of the people around you, you do have power over your own thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Utilizing your self-management skills will help you navigate arguments.
What are self-management skills? How can they help me in an argument?
A large part of self-management is emotion, thought, and behavior regulation, as well as impulse control and self-discipline. You have the will to act independently and to make your own free choices. You have control over your emotions, thoughts, and behavior. In an argument, there are many factors you might not consider because of your emotional state. During an argument, you can take a step back, breathe, and assess why this argument came to be, why it’s happening. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes…
Why are they angry?
What are they thinking?
What are they feeling?
Can they be mad about something else that has nothing to do with me?
The point is, you can make the decision to not let the fight escalate, get worse, by choosing to subdue your impulse to defend your point of view. You can regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behavior. Take a deep breath before reacting. Take those couple of seconds to think of a better way to get your point across without using offending words or actions. Instead of choosing the path of further disagreement, you can choose the path of understanding and compassion, which will help you understand yourself and the other person much better. This applies to the arguments with your family, but also your friends, and teachers.
Think about some of your past arguments. How did you resolve them? What were you thinking and feeling during those arguments? How did your thoughts and feelings differ when an argument was resolved easily to when an argument escalated? What were some strategies that worked well for you? What can you do the next time you get into a conflict? Comment down below.